Because Major General Mustang is a Total Pervert
by luluhrh
Summary: First attempt at smut-like stuff! Oh dear Truth... wish me luck! Features a horny Mustang, Fem!Ed (Edalia), Male!Winry (Winter), and a brief appearance of Fem!Al (Alleda)! Rated M for sexual content... sort of... Don't read this if you're innocent and would prefer to stay that way. Or if you don't approve of cursing. BROTHERHOOD-BASED! Oh, and I added something. Hope you enjoy!
1. Just A Pervert

**Oh dear Truth... first time writing something like this. You'll have to tell me if it's any good or not. Hope it is! Honestly, though, just be expecting a really terrible attempt at smut... or a lime. XD Anyway, wish me luck!**

**Audience: GOOD LUCK LULU!**

**Me: Aw, thanks! You guys are such sweethearts!**

**. . .**

**SUCH NERVES!**

**Roy: You'll do fine.**

**Me: Thanks. Now shoo, pervert.**

**Disclaimer: I often make my point about the unnecessary part of this that involves explaining the word "disclaimer." Honestly, it's not that hard to understand that I am NOT Hiromu Arakawa! I AM NOT THAT MUCH OF A GENIUS!**

**Now read and see how pervy the Colonel is when it comes to our favorite female version of our favorite alchemist...**

**Roy's POV**

It's always a struggle to stay focused when Edalia Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, walks into my office.

It's not her fault... well, actually, it's completely her fault. It's her fault for being a gorgeous, curvy, fiery blonde girl with a brain too large for her body (maybe it's compensating for her height... who knows?).

She didn't ask to be born like that. She just had the luck of having attractive parents.

I can't blame her parents, though. It's no fun. So Ed gets all the blame for herself.

Besides, some of the blame does reside with her. Really, how hard would it be for her to wear a less seductive outfit to work? I mean, really? Tight leather pants that are practically leggings? Form-fitting black jacket with white trim that had the top two buttons unbuttoned under her long red coat? Did this girl have no decency?

Take last week, for example. Fullmetal was giving an oral report about her latest mission and was ranting about the conditions there. I couldn't focus on her words, however. I was a little busy desperately trying NOT to ogle her breasts... or her slim waist... or her ass... or her perfect legs... or her full, pink lips... damn, there wasn't anywhere safe to look besides _away_.

If it was another girl, I wouldn't have minded. Hell, even with Riza it would have been okay.

But Fullmetal was twenty-one now. I was fourteen years her senior at thirty-five. These thoughts belonged to a pedophile, a pervert. I might have been the second, but I was most certainly not the first.

And yet... her figure was perfect. Her features were perfect. She practically begged to be stared at.

Other people around the base didn't mind staring. Fullmetal never noticed (damn her and her obliviousness), but when she passed by, tons of military men would turn their heads to follow her movement. They talked about her behind her back.

"Seen the Fullmetal today?"

"Have I? Hell yeah! Hot as ever!"

"And just imagine what else she's hiding under that cloak..."

"Yeah... under the clothes..."

Many men walked around with nosebleeds these days. Even I had trouble not being aroused when I heard these conversations. They'd just bring back memories.

That one time in the cafeteria. She dropped her fork and bent down to pick it up, muttering obscenities as she showed off her ass... right in front of me. It took all of my self control to not jump her.

In the gym, when she was fighting, and her tank top flew up as she flipped, revealing defined abs and just the bottom of her bra... again, I had to try desperately hard not to fuck her on the mats.

I wasn't even the only one in the office. Havoc had his eye on her, too. I saw it in the way he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, how his lip curled when she laughed at his jokes. Fuery seemed to have a bit of a crush, too, but for far more innocent reasons than Havoc. Havoc liked her 20% because of her personality and 80% because of her breasts.

And she never. Fucking. Noticed. Anybody. Staring.

She was completely oblivious. _Completely._

It was enough to drive anyone crazy with longing...

_ #$%^&*!_

_I was in my office. It was late. I was just getting ready to leave. Everyone else had already left._

_Except for..._

_"Roy?" a quiet voice asked._

_I turned around. It was Ed. She looked... nervous. She kept glancing at me, then looking away._

_"Yes, Edalia?" I asked softly, letting a seductive note worm its way into my tone._

_Ed blushed. "Well... you see, I think I... well, I..." She looked down, her face as red as her coat. "I think I like you."_

_I smiled at her embarrassment before gently lifting her chin so that her eyes met mine._

_Those golden orbs burned, but not in the way they usually did. This time, they were made hazy by lust._

_I met her lips with my own._

_Ed gasped and froze, allowing me access to her mouth. I probed it carefully, sweeping my tongue over every part of it. She tasted like honey and lemon, with a hint of mint from chewing the leaves earlier._

_Then, she began to respond. Her tongue pushed against mine, first hesitantly, then with more force as she gained confidence. Her hands gripped my uniform as I ran my hands through her hair._

_When she pulled away, gasping for air, I turned my attentions to the area under her ear, nipping and sucking at it. I gave it a quick nibble and was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath and a moan._

_That moan threw me into a frenzy. I attacked her mouth once more and felt her jump up and wrap her legs around me, rubbing herself against an ever-hardening spot._

_I stumbled forwards and deposited her on my couch, then pulled away to look at her for a moment._

_Her hair was a mess. Her clothes were rumpled. Her lips were swollen. She was panting, but she looked... incredible. Her eyes met mine, filled with longing. Incredible and extremely fuck-able._

_Leaning forward, I nipped and sucked at her neck, slowly trailing my lips down, past her collarbone, to the neck of her shirt. I swept my tongue at the opening and felt her inhale in surprise. I paused. When she did not resist, I slipped my hand up her shirt to fondle her breast._

_She gasped and moaned. "Mmm... Roy... don't stop... so good..."_

_I couldn't have stopped now, even if I wanted to. Even if she wanted me to, I couldn't have. I was too far gone. I'd wanted this since she'd turned fourteen._

_Slowly, carefully, my hands made their way to her belt buckle..._

_And then something rang._

_ #$%^&*!_

I jolted awake, panting, my pants far too tight for my liking.

_Great, _I thought to myself. _Asleep on the job. As if Riza didn't already have a good reason to kill me..._

Groaning and trying to imagine the least arousing image possible (I was stuck between Envy's true form and Armstrong in his undies), I picked up the phone. Damn it for waking me up...

"Hey, Colonel Bastard."

My eyes widened. "Fullmetal?"

Immediately my dream came back to me. My erection returned full force, just when I had finally defeated it.

"No, it's your grandmother, dumbass."

I cleared my throat. "Why did you call?"

"Oh, no reason." There was a loud noise from the phone. "OW! Watch it! Okay, so there is a reason. Alleda and I wanted to visit, and Winter came up, so he'll be coming with us. Besides, there's an announcement I need to make."

I frowned. An announcement? "Okay then. When will you be here?"

"Oh, half an hour or so."

"Uh-huh. I'll tell the team to expect you in two hours."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh, nothing..."

I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. "Whatever. So are we clear, Colonel Mustard?"

I scowled. "It's Major General now, Elric."

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure, whatever. You'll always be a Colonel to me, wet match. Bye-bye!" She hung up before I could retort.

I leaned back in my chair thoughtfully. An announcement... huh. Strange.

_ #$%^&*!_

To my surprise, Edalia, Alleda, and Winter really did walk in half an hour later. I'd told my team that they were visiting, so everyone greeted them with "Hi" and "What's up, Chief?" Ed nodded at them, smiling. Al and Winter grinned at the warm reception.

Havoc leaned forward over Ed. "So Chief, what's the big announcement?"

Winter stiffened. So did I. Havoc needed to get away from Ed _fast_ before I charbroiled him.

Ed glared up at him. "Move your ass."

Havoc chuckled and shrugged, moving a few steps back.

I relaxed. So did Winter.

I narrowed my eyes at Ed's automail mechanic. Winter Rockbell, with his sky blue eyes and straight, pale blonde hair and pierced ears. What right did he have to stiffen like that? Why was he so protective?

Ed rolled her eyes. "Weirdo. _Anyway_, I have a very important announcement, as Jean so kindly mentioned..."

I raised my eyebrows. _Jean?_ I didn't like the sound of that.

Winter, too, looked perturbed by the casual use of Havoc's first name.

_Why?_

"... so what I'm trying to say is..." Ed swallowed. Her eyes shone brightly with excitement. "Winter and I are engaged!"

.

.

.

What.

The.

Fuck.

My whole universe ad collapsed. Edalia Elric was being snatched from my grasp... by her _mechanic?_ What kind of logic was this? What did he have that I didn't? Why was he going to get to enjoy her attentions? Why would he get to satisfy his cravings for her while I sat and starved?

Havoc looked like he'd been run over by Ed in her platform boots. Fuery seemed resigned.

After a moment of silence, Riza said, "Congratulations, you two!"

As soon as she flashed them a rare smile, everyone flooded around them, wishing them congratulations. Al kind of stepped back, her face filled with fright at the thought of being caught in the crowd of my subordinates. Still, she looked happy for the pair.

When it was my turn, I fought hard to smile at Ed. "Nicely done, Fullmetal."

Ed smirked. It looked so very sexy. "Thanks, Colonel Bastard."

"Major General, Ed."

"Whatever."

I gave up and turned to Winter. My eyes hardened. Winter returned my glare firmly.

"You treat her right, you hear?" I said.

Winter nodded. "Of course. She's Ed. I wouldn't do anything less."

I nodded. "You're a lucky man, Rockbell. Many a man would give quite a lot to be in your place."

Winter smiled. "Oh, I know. I'm very lucky, Mr. Mustang."

And that was the end of my hope for being with Edalia Elric. Oh well. There are other women... and there's one strict, gun-happy blonde in particular who I have my sights set on... She's no Edalia, but she's not just anybody, either.

I suppose all this worked out, in the end.

I guess.

Doesn't mean I don't get dreams about Edalia anymore... but lately, I can't always tell if it's really Edalia... or if it's Riza.

It's probably Riza. I'm no pedophile.

I'm just a pervert.

**YAY! LIME-NESS!**

**Well? How did I do? I know, it kind of sucked, but I had fun! I think this idea is interesting. Ed is a completely GORGEOUS male specimen, so he'd be a completely GORGEOUS female specimen. And since men are naturally pigs (no offense to you non-pig men out there, but military men in Amestris are pigs), they would totally act like this. Pervs.**

**RFF, people! It may be a one-shot, but reviews are still appreciated!**

**The word of the day is QUIXOTIC! Hey, this kind of describes Mustang when he was in Ishbal! Cool! Look it up, guys. It's kind of perfect for when Mustang when still a foolish, idealistic idiot.**

**Love ya! lulu**


	2. The Wedding

**Okay. . . I know I said this was a one-shot, and I wasn't planning on writing anymore, but come ****_on_****! It's a wedding! With jealous peeps! Fun times!**

**So yeah. Edalia and Winter are getting married. YAY! XD**

**Will feature Jealous!Roy, Jealous!Havoc, Jealous!Lots-Of-Dudes, etc.**

**Disclaimer:**** Shut up. Not mine. Go away.**

**Quick Note: Mustang isn't really all that perverted in this, so it doesn't really work with the title at all. . . hehehe. Whoops.**

**Okay. Now that THAT'S settled. . . please enjoy!**

_**Roy Mustang**_

Sometimes, Edalia Elric really got on my nerves.

She had always been irritating. What with her penchant for destroying important things like government buildings or small towns, as well as injuring herself in the process, she caused a whole damn lot paperwork. She'd also revealed her femininity to me when she was fourteen. After that, I began to lust after her, because without the baggy coat and gender-concealing clothing, she was gorgeous. Therefore, she also caused me much sexual frustration.

But this? This had to be the most annoyed I'd ever been.

And I couldn't even express said annoyance, because I didn't want to ruin her special day.

Yep, that's right. Edalia Elric, 22 years old and the object of my affections for 8 years, was getting married to Winter Rockbell, her mechanic.

I could scarcely believe it. I had always fantasized about having Ed as my girlfriend (I doubt I'll ever get married), and now she was being stolen away by a blond, blue-eyed boy with pierced ears, strong hands, and a blinding smile.

I tried to forget about Ed. Really, I did. For a couple of months, I went out with Riza, and it was nice. We understood one another. However, after a while, we both decided that it was easier to be friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. We already knew everything about one another, and we both knew we needed more from a relationship than understanding. We needed surprise, and we knew each other too well to be surprised.

Of course, that left her searching for a new boyfriend, and me pining after the unattainable Edalia, because she's filled with surprises and I'm incorrigible.

I wasn't alone in my hopeless plight. Havoc and Fuery had both been blindsided by the upcoming marriage and were now looking severely depressed at the prospect of watching Ed get away from them.

Still, at least they weren't giving her away. I had the worst job: playing the father giving away the daughter. I suspected Winter had suggested it. He wasn't one to openly gloat, but he knew of my affections and he was showing me exactly where I stood. I was Ed's superior, her guardian. A parental figure at most. I was nowhere near Winter, the romantic interest, lover, _husband_.

Oh yes. Winter Rockbell was very good at gloating from afar.

Unfortunately for me, Edalia seemed to be glad that I was giving her away.

"It symbolizes my graduation from being under Mustang's command," I heard her tell her sister, Alleda. "He's always been a sort of guardian to us, but now Winter will protect me. I like that he's giving me away. He was more of a father than Hohenheim ever was and you know that."

I heard Al give a murmur of assent before I left.

She considered me. . . a father figure.

It really sucked that the one I loved didn't love me back.

Yes. I had decided that I loved Edalia Elric. At first, it was just lust, or so I'd thought. At most, it was a little crush. Then that little "crush" lasted for 8 years. I had given up trying to convince myself that I only liked Ed for her beauty. I liked everything about her, even how annoying she was.

And she loved her mechanic.

I was standing by her side, waiting for the music to start, the doors to open, so I could lead the young woman through the doors and to her new life as Mrs. Rockbell. Ed looked radiant in her stunning dress. The dress was white with gold patterns that brought out her gleaming hair and eyes. The sleeveless gown hugged her curves, and the sweetheart neckline taunted me without giving too much away.

Damn. . . she looked too perfect in her wedding dress.

"Jeez, this is scary," Edalia muttered. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her dress.

Alleda turned around in her lavender bridesmaid dress and smiled at her sister. "You'll be fine, Sister," she assured the older girl. "Just think; after this is over, you'll be Mrs. Winter Rockbell!" Her grin grew wider. "You won, Ed."

Ed blinked. I didn't understand what Al meant, but Ed evidently did, because a smile- softer than I'd ever seen on the golden-eyed girl- appeared on her face.

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "I guess I did."

Then we heard the music swell, and Ed tensed up. Her arm slipped into mine, but I could feel her trembling.

"You'll do great, Ed!" Sheska, the other bridemaid, whispered, looking surprisingly good in her dress. Ed smiled at the brunette, but it was shaky.

Then the doors opened.

First, Elysia walked through, holding her basket of flower petals. The ten year old looked adorable in her golden gown as she spread petals across the aisle. Maes Hughes probably would have had a heart attack from the sheer cuteness.

Next, Al and Sheska walked through, wearing matching lavender dresses. Al was smiling like crazy and Sheska looked nervous but happy.

Finally, Ed and I cleared the doors.

As soon as Ed caught sight of Winter, standing on the dais and looking like the happiest man alive (the lucky bastard), she relaxed. Her smile became less forced. Suddenly, she was even more beautiful than before. I felt thoroughly outshone, a dark shadow next to the sun.

We made it to the dais. Ed's arm left mine, but I caught her hand and swept a brief kiss on its smooth back.

Then, smile firmly plastered across my face, I hand the woman I loved over to the man she loved. . . who loved her in return. They loved each other. A lot. True, perfect, _requited _love. This was redamancy: the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

After I handed Ed over to Winter and took my place, I zoned out. I focused on Ed's face, how exquisitely joyous she looked, like she'd been waiting for this moment her whole life. Winter looked the same.

Back to the beginning: Edalia was really getting on my nerves with her beauty and how happy she was. . . without me.

". . . to have and to hold, for better or for worse, until death do you part?" The officiant was directing this question to Winter.

"I do." Winter was smiling happily.

"Do you, Edalia, take Winter to be your husband, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

_Please,_ I found myself begging internally. _Please, Ed. . . Don't. . ._

Ed had tears in her eyes. It was the closest I'd ever seen to her crying.

"Of course I do."

_Of course she does._

I was never the one she wanted.

The woman officiating smiled at the couple. "Then by the power vested in me by the country of Amestris, I pronounce you husband and wife." She grinned at Winter. "You may kiss the bride."

I squinted so that all I could see were blurs of color. A splotch of pale blond above a dark swath of color moved forward, closer to a golden glow above heavenly white. I couldn't see it, but I knew they were connected at the lips, entwining arms around each other.

I clapped along with everyone else, feeling empty inside. This, I assumed, was _la douleur exquise_, or the pain that comes from wanting someone unattainable.

The couple parted. I opened my eyes fully and watched as they surrounded by well-wishers.

For a moment, I imagined myself in Winter's place. Standing by Edalia's side, surrounded by happy people, being graced with that perfect smile from the woman I really, truly loved.

Then the image dissolved. I was Roy Mustang! Roy Mustang wasn't ready to settle down just yet.

In my mind's eye, I conjured up a picture of Ed. I kissed it softly, then let it go.

I would get over my broken heart.

Suddenly, someone bumped into me.

"Oh!" a woman's voice said in surprise. "Ah, jeez, I'm sorry. Wasn't watching where I was going."

I turned around, charming smile firmly affixed. "It's fine, miss," I said smoothly. I held out a hand for the lady to shake. "Roy Mustang."

The woman smiled, her blue eyes lighting up as she did so. They reminded me slightly of Winter's eyes, only warmer than his were when directed at me. She brushed a stray strand of blonde hair out of her face before taking the hand with a grin. "Roy Mustang, huh? Ed's told me all about you. I'm Toni*****. Tonia Rockbell, actually, but call me Toni. It's better than Tonia by a long shot."

I raised an eyebrow at that. She was a Rockbell. . . well, it explained her resemblance to Winter.

"How do you know Ed?" I asked curiously.

Toni grinned. "Oh, Eddy and I have been best friends for ages!" She waved at Ed, who blew a kiss back playfully. Toni then turned back to me. "I'm one of the few girls in my family that isn't super girly. I got along best with Winter, even though he's younger than me. He always hung out with Ed, and as such, Ed and I became best friends." A large grin took over the blonde's face before she poked me in the chest. "And _you_, Mr. Mustang, need to stop being such a pervert."

I froze. My heartbeat quickened. How did she know I had been checking Ed out? I was careful about it!

"Honestly. Going out with so many women all the time and ogling your staff. Shame on you!" Toni berated me, but I caught a teasing note in her voice. "Ed told me about your ways, and I must say, it's demeaning to womankind."

I sighed. "I haven't been doing that for years. I held down a steady relationship for about four mon-"

"Stop right there!" Toni said firmly, holding a finger to my lips. When my eyes were trained on the finger in surprise, she smirked. "I didn't ask for your recent dating history. I was just saying that those habits were undesirable." She brought down her finger. "Be that as it may. . ."

The next thing I knew, Toni was fangirling in front of me. "Oh my god, I'm meeting the Flame Alchemist! I've been a fan for AGES, and I couldn't believe it when Ed said I'd get to meet you, but here you are! God, this is a dream come true!"

I simply stared at the clearly insane girl before me. "Do you need some help? Should I take you to a hospital?" I asked cautiously.

She nodded, then shook her head, then nodded once more. "I probably do, but there's nothing clinically wrong with me at the moment, so I'm not sure what anyone could possibly do to help me!" she concluded breathlessly.

I nodded slowly. "O-kay. Just out of curiosity, how did you go from perfectly normal, if a bit rude, to total freak-out mode in-" I checked my pocket watch, just for show. "-two seconds flat?"

Toni grinned with pride, seemingly normal once more, but I was wary now. "Practice makes perfect!" she trilled melodiously. Then she clasped her hands together innocently, appearing repentant. "Mr. Mustang, I'm sorry for freaking out like that. It was just delayed excitement catching up to me. I swear it won't happen again."

Bemused, I said, "That's fine."

Pleased, Toni smiled and lunged forward, hooking her arm through mine before I even had time to react.

"Let's go pay our respects!" she crowed, diving into the immense crowd of well-wishers, towing me behind her.

I had thought no one could permeate the thick group, but to my astonishment, Toni had wiggled us over to Ed and Winter in mere seconds.

"Eddy!" she exclaimed, releasing me and instead throwing her arms around Ed.

Ed laughed at the exclamation, hugging her back. "Toni! It's been forever since you last visited! What have you been up to? Made something else explode?" Ed joked.

At least, I assumed it was joking, until Toni replied, "More than one something; a billion somethings! Did you know how much fun it is to blow up a car? A building?" Toni asked. Ed laughed and nodded as Toni continued. "I love my job! Well, not the making-stuff-safer part. But the explosions totally make up for it!"

I stared at the two of them. "What exactly do you do?" I asked incredulously.

Toni sighed. "I test ways things can be destroyed, then work to make countermeasures for those things," she said wearily, as though she were tired of explaining this. "It's supposed to be secret, but I really don't care. To be honest, I hate the part that involves countermeasures, because that involves thinking more rationally than I care to on a regular basis, but hey! At least stuff gets destroyed. It's fun to find new ways to cause massive destruction legally."

Thoroughly confused, I stared at the quite possibly insane female before me. Her predilection towards causing mass destruction made me realize just how similar she was to Ed. She had her own quirks, but they clearly shared a love of making stuff go _boom!_ and that made me nervous. . . yet excited. Toni was very surprising.

Ed smirked at me. While Toni was engaged in a conversation with Winter about the affairs of the Rockbell family, Ed gestured towards her and mouthed, "Exciting enough for you?"

Wait. . . was Ed trying to set me up with Toni?!

I sent a glare Ed's way, and she rolled her eyes before wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I shook my head fervently.

She nodded up and down with just as much vigor.

I marched over to her. "Edalia El- Rockbell," I whispered heatedly, catching my slip just in time, "what the hell do you think you're playing at?!"

Ed grinned. "She's a fiery one, huh?" A swift elbow nudged me surprisingly hard, but it was teasing. "Perfect for you, eh, O Great and Powerful Flame Alchemist?" She mocked me, and her eyes glittered enchantingly.

I frowned. Her eyes glittered.

I knew then that it would be harder to get rid of this crush than just imagining her floating away, a piece of paper in the wind. Ed was still here, taunting me with her beauty that I wasn't allowed to have.

Toni, on the other hand, was wild, crazy, unexpected, and entirely foreign.

Ed wanted to set me up with _that_?!

. . . And yet. . . wasn't this what I'd wanted? Surprises? Intrigue? Adventure? Something new and exciting, unknown to me?

I sighed in resignation. "You talked to Riza."

"Damn straight. I'm a smart girl, bastard."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically.

Ed grinned sardonically. "No, actually, I am your father," Ed replied dryly, her voice turning dark and foreboding at the last line.

When I merely raised an eyebrow, Ed scowled and muttered about wasted effort. "Yes, I'm smart. Yes, I'm a girl. No, I am not actually your father." A smirk spread across Ed's face. "And yes, of course I talked to Riza. You wanted excitement? You wanted the unknown? Well, Toni's the girl for you."

I was, in fact, already mostly convinced, but I felt like I hadn't put up a good enough fight yet, so I groaned. "I don't know, Ed. . ."

Ed glared at me. "Yes, you do. You know she's nice. You know she's fun to hang around. You know I am going to _make_ you go on at _least_ one date, so you might as well go into it willingly."

I grinned. "You know me too well." I turned to stare at Toni and Winter, who were still talking, discussing something emphatically, with much hand-waving (mostly Toni) and face-palming (mostly Winter). "And you know what? I might just do that."

Ed smiled happily, and she seemed to glow with joy.

I knew my admiration for Ed would never go away, but maybe I could find someone new.

And as Winter tore himself away from Toni to sweep a laughing Ed into his arms, I discovered that the twinge of jealousy I still felt had diminished slightly. It was barely a difference, but it was a start, and a good one at that.

And as Toni made her way over to my side, grinning a crazy grin, I realized that maybe a good start was all I needed.

**AWWWWWWW! XD**

**So yeah. No limey-ness. No lemony-ness, either. Not really any perviness. What went wrong?**

**Well. . . the fluff happened. So yeah. FLUFFLES FOR EVERYONE!**

**I have problems. Do not judge me.**

***Ah, Toni. . . Toni is based on one of my BFFs (Best Fanfiction Friends), xIcyChanx! Go check her out, all of her work is AMAZING! Especially her Roy/Fem!Ed stuff (which is pretty much all she writes these days. . . not that I mind, because it is some fantastic fabulous stuff)!**

**So. . . RFF!**

**The word of the day is CHATOYANT! . . . I read the definition and I still don't get it, so I don't even know if you should bother looking it up. It might just confuse you further. A fair warning to all those who dare try to understand this strange word. . .**

**Okay. I am done here.**

**Love ya! lulu**


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